News, Summer 2002, page 3

April 18th, exactly one month since the death of Zeke. Everyone was still trying to deal, in their own way, with his unexpected loss. Our newsletter had just been sent to the printer announcing Zeke's death and we were taking Cheyenne to the vets for, what we considered, routine surgery.

Cheyenne had been exhibiting some vaginal bleeding. In her case this should not have been happening. Before Wolf received her she had been sterilized through the removal of her uterus only. Wolf believes strongly that once sentenced to a life in captivity that it is appropriate to eliminate the normal sexual rituals through complete spays and neuters. This allows their lives to be much more well-adjusted to their confinement, especially if there are more than two animals in one enclosure. In Cheyenne's case we did not want to subject her to invasive procedures if not absolutely necessary and she was with only one other animal -- Spirit.

Every year there would be a two to four week period where Spirit would be very protective of her. He would not let her visit with humans and generally did not want humans in his enclosure.

While we were checking on the bleeding we decided to have our vet remove the ovaries as well. The darting process, to get her to the vets, went smoothly. The operation at the vets went without a hitch. It turned out that whoever did the original surgery to remove the uterus had missed a small piece. It was removed along with the ovaries. All that was left was to bring her out of the anesthesia. As she was taken off of the isoflurane she stopped breathing. The vet and vet techs worked relentlessly for two and a half hours trying everything they could to bring her back. Although epinephrine, atropine and steroids were administered, her heart rate never changed. Then her heart stopped -- she was gone.

Everyone was in shock. We could not believe that this was really happening. It still seems to be a dream that you just can't shake off.

Cheyenne was a beautiful pure wolf that had seen her share of pain. She had been part of a pack that was used for commercial photography. Circumstances occurred that caused her pack to attack her almost causing her death. As she was recovering from that ordeal she was placed with Wolf.

Her wounds even though severe were healing. There was some question as to her liver function, but that could have been from the stress and trauma she had been through. She had lost her howl, most likely from being intubated for surgery. She recovered from her wounds, her liver functions returned to normal and she bonded exceptionally well with a young Spirit.

Although a subordinate personality she was extremely curious and accepting of attention and love. Her continuing efforts to please and her tenacity at howling, whether sound came out or not, endeared her to all that knew her. Memories of her beautiful presence will forever remain in our hearts.

Jay Newberg is a Wolf member and volunteer. He wrote a very touching article about his experiences with Cheyenne for The Coffee Cup Companion, a Rocky Mountain Region alternative newspaper.

Jay's article was published in the June issue. We asked and received permission to reprint it for you. www.coffeecupcompanion.com

Once again, the eyes of the world look home. Though usually smiling, they aren't Irish. Despite the fact that they aren't Texan blue, they've still been doing some crying in the rain. I lost another friend of mine recently. Well, I had just begun to really know her and then…poof. Gone. She taught me much in the short time we had together. And after departing this earth, she reminds me that the 'short time together' is often all we have.

Though her name was Cheyenne, she came from South Dakota. She was a gray wolf-you'd call her a timber wolf. Cheyenne was born in captivity and spent her early life at a commercial wildlife photography preserve in Colorado. A well-meaning caretaker accidentally put Cheyenne in with a pack that wasn't her own. She was nearly killed.

Long story short, she came to live at Wolf, an outfit you've probably read about on the pages of the Coffee Cup Companion. (If you have not read of the good people of Wolf, check out http://www.wolfsanctuary.net and support them.) Cheyenne had found a home at age five and seemed to recover quite nicely from her physical and emotional wounds. She paired up with a mate, Spirit, and spent the next four or so years as a comfortable, social and loving animal.

That happy story came to an end a few weeks ago when Cheyenne underwent routine surgery. At some point, on recovery, she just gave up the ghost. No one can say why.

I have had the good fortune of being associated with Wolf for eight months or so. I volunteer at educational and healing sessions. I help load and unload the trailer and then schlep stuff around in between loadings and unloadings. My favorite duties are handling the animals and speaking with you, my fellow travelers, about wolves and what they can teach us. That's all great, but the icing on the cake is getting to volunteer at the Wolf Sanctuary.

Cheyenne wasn't one of the wolves who made it out into public, so I had to go north to the sanctuary to meet her. Pat and Frank, who run the sanctuary, are two people who have devoted their lives to rescuing captive-bred wolves and wolf-dogs, providing them long-term physical and emotional care. Those two also dedicate a lot of energy to educating the public about wolves and wolf-dogs. Is there really a need for such pursuits? It is my understanding that one thousand wolf-dogs alone are destroyed each month in this country, often because they do not make the kind of pet that people expect. So, I'd have to say, "yes."

The Sanctuary centers on Pat and Frank's house, but comprises numerous humane animal paddocks that approximate as natural a habitat as they can. Every enclosure meets or beats federal standards for security while providing for the needs of its mini-pack. On each visit to Wolf, I made a stop in Spirit and Cheyenne's enclosure. Through two visits, Spirit was always apprehensive of me and Cheyenne nearly absent. I suspect Spirit never let Cheyenne come off the back fence when I was around. I knew Cheyenne was in the enclosure, but I never got remotely close enough to know what she even looked like (a very beautiful and elegant lady with slightly floppy ears, in case you were wondering).

On the third visit, both Cheyenne and Spirit were eagerly awaiting my friend, Lindsay, and me as we approached. Spirit was more trusting and generous than he had ever been with me, but Cheyenne was positively gushing. She came over to where I sat and stood on me. She licked me. She licked some more. I mean, she pinned me down and laid some big, juicy wolf kisses right on my mouth, man. Not to be outdone, I licked back. And then more licking. We rubbed one another. We looked meaningfully into each other's eyes. We howled together.

Well, we tried to howl together. Cheyenne's voice box had been damaged in an attack earlier in her life. She squeaked. I sounded like I thought I might sound if I were a wolf. I think it's safe to say we harmonized. Lindsay played likewise with Spirit. All in all, a good wolf time was had by all.

I had nothing at all in my frame of reference to relate to this. Imagine finding yourself playing with wolves. Imagine finding out that you are in love. Imagine finding a new world. Imagine finding out that everything in this world is wonderful. Imagine finding them all at the same time...what an afternoon. Through tears of joy, Lindsay made sure I knew just how completely blessed we both are.

I have my memories of the afternoon where I got to know Cheyenne. I have some photos, too, when Lindsay isn't there for me to ask, "Did that really happen?" And, knowing me, I have lessons learned. Show up. Have fun. Be thankful. It is what it is.

While these may be obvious, let me shine a little light. Showing up means being willing to make the drive up north to the Wolf Sanctuary or being there for whatever means something to you. More importantly, it means being willing to not go anywhere. It means making the commitment to being present right here, right now in your life and not running to distracting thoughts, habits, behaviors or chemicals.

'Have fun' and 'be thankful' are, I hope, pretty self-explanatory. At the risk of encroaching on "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" material, a few comments anyway. If you haven't done so yet this week, go do something simply fun. Don't care who is watching. Don't care if it'll be messy. Don't care what is due next week. Finger paint. Mush modeling clay in your hands. Go fly a kite. Howl with wolves. You choose.

Please, oh please, stop and be thankful for something today. You really do have a lot going for you. For a double-plus good thing, stop and be thankful for someone else today - and tell her or him about it. Remember, things are not as bad as headlines need to make them seem to sell newspapers. 'Nuff said.

Last, but by no means least, especially in our culture, is 'It is what it is.' It is what it is. That great love affair you had once is what it is. That wonderful afternoon I had with Cheyenne is what it is. That embarrassing moment in high school is what it is. We all have a series of wonderful and horrible moments in our lives. I wish for all of us more of the good than the bad, as difficult as it is to decipher them at the time. Still, those moments are what they are.

We can ask all kinds of questions about them, if we like. Why did Cheyenne decide to really open up when she did? Why did she go away so soon afterwards? We can choose to accept these events in our lives for what they are/were or we can spend long periods of time - entire lives! - trying to fix them, recapture them, deny them, etc. Did your drama choose you or do you want to choose your drama?

So, there are a few freebies from the universe for you. If you want more where those came from, I recommend that you acquaint yourself with the social mores and behaviors of wolves. Some say that wolves have the most highly evolved social structure next to primates. I know more than a handful of people who would say it is the reverse that is true. Wolves do take care of their own in amazing ways. To the universe, I say, "Take care of Cheyenne." To Cheyenne, I say, "Thanks. Take care. Goodbye."